Calvinism & Christianity

Calvinism is a false religion masquerading as Christianity. It is “another gospel” in that Jesus Christ is not the central figure. The term “Reformed” is a synonym for Calvinism.

  • A Mormon adheres to the teachings of Joseph Smith.
  • A Jehovah’s Witness adheres to the teachings of Charles Taze Russell.
  • A Seventh Day Adventist adheres to the teachings of William Miller.
  • A Christian Scientist adheres to the teachings of Mary Baker Patterson Glover Eddy.
  • A Calvinist adheres to the teachings of John Calvin.
  • A Christian adheres to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Calvinism’s central tenet is that God pre-determined who will be saved, and sent Jesus to die for them only. The rest of humanity was created for the express purpose of eternal destruction.

Calvinism’s Five Major Doctrines are summarized into the acronym TULIP:

T Total Depravity of Man Man cannot turn to God; he has no free will.
U Unconditional Election The only ones going to Heaven are those whom God has chosen.
L Limited Atonement Jesus only died for those whom God chose to be saved.
I Irresistible Grace Man cannot resist God. Those he chooses MUST be saved.
P Perseverance of the Saints God will eternally secure his elect so they cannot be lost.

Here’s a humorous fictional exchange highlighting the differences of Calvinism & Christianity:

A Calvinist Goes Soul Winning

JC:       Hello. My name is John E. Cal Vin from the No Hope Deformed Church.

MS:     Hello. My name is Mary Smith. What can I do for you?

JC:       I come to proclaim that God is sovereign, and rules and reigns in the affairs of men.

MS:     Is that all? Aren’t you going to tell me God loves me?

JC:       Oh no! I would never speak such blasphemy!

MS:     Saying ‘God loves you’ is blasphemy? Why?

JC:       Because He may not.

MS:     What?! You came here to tell me that God might not love me?

JC:       In point of fact, statistically speaking, He probably doesn’t.

MS:     Why are you telling me this?

JC:       Because God is sovereign, and rules and reigns in the affairs of men.

 

MS:     So, who does God love?

JC:       His elect.

MS:     His what?

JC:       Those whom he has chosen before the foundation of the world to eternally save for His own good pleasure. Those whom He has not chosen are left to their own choice.

MS:     What choice do they have?

JC:       To be doomed for eternity.

MS:     And what else?

JC:       Nothing else.

MS:     You need more than one option to have a choice.

 

MS:     How can I know if God loves me?

JC:       You must be one of the elect.

MS:     Doesn’t the Bible say in John 3:16 that God so loved the world?

JC:       You can’t conclude anything from that verse. “The world” means only the elect.

MS:     Does God love you?

JC:       I refuse to answer such a ridiculous inquiry.

MS:     That must mean you think He does love you. How do you know that?

JC:       John 3:16 – God so loved the world.

MS:     Didn’t you just say that verse proves nothing?

JC:       It proves nothing to the lost. It only applies to the elect.

MS:     How do you know you’re one of the elect?

JC:       Because I’m a Calvinist. You’ll never meet a Calvinist who DOESN’T think they’re one of the elect.

 

MS:     What’s in that huge duffel bag you’re carrying?

JC:       God’s words.

MS:     I didn’t think the Bible was that big.

JC:       There are many bibles in here.

MS:     Why do you need so many?

JC:       To convince the gainsayer of the truth.

MS:     Don’t all bibles say the same thing?

JC:       Aha! Your ignorance shows! Of course they don’t all say the same thing.

MS:     Then how do you know which one is right?

JC:       Whichever one proves the point I’m trying to make at a particular time.

MS:     But if they don’t agree with each other…

JC:       They don’t have to agree with each other! They just have to agree with me!

 

MS:     I want to go to Heaven. Other churches say I have to repent of my sin and receive Christ as my Savior.

JC:       Lies from the pit of hell! You can’t get saved by your own free will. There is no such thing as free will.

MS:     If that’s true, why do people think they have a free will?

JC:       It’s an invention of man.

MS:     How can man invent something if he can’t choose to invent it? What you’re saying is that man uses what he does not have to do that which he cannot do.

 

MS:     What makes you think you are one of the elect?

JC:       The witness of the Spirit. I read that in one of my bibles.

MS:     How do you know it’s talking about you?

JC:       Because of the witness of the Spirit.

MS:     That’s circular reasoning.

JC:       It works for me.

MS:     Couldn’t a sovereign God make you think you were elect, when in fact you weren’t?

JC:       Certainly! In fact, my ascended master John Calvin teaches that God does just that with some. He deludes them into thinking they are saved, they act like they are saved, but they are not saved.

MS:     So this ‘witness of the Spirit’ you were talking about – it might not be the Spirit at all. It could be just a gastro-intestinal pain, right? …hey, where are you going?

JC:       I don’t feel so well. I think I have a gastro-intestinal pain.

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